Archives for 2015

Strange smells, crowded beds, ruined furniture — here’s what cohabiting with little monsters really feels like

There’s rarely a dull moment when living with small children. My kids have doodled on our white walls with colored markers. They’ve stood in our living room and peed all over the carpet. I’ve found toys stuffed inside my shoes in the morning. I’ve held out my hands in bed trying to catch my son’s throw-up, hoping to save our mattress from his forfeited dinner. And I once discovered that my 3-year-old son had turned our sofa into an imaginary garbage dump, piling it head high with trash, torn-up tissue, small toys, puzzle pieces, dirty socks and anything else he could find.

This should give you just a slight idea of what it’s like living with kids. Below, with help from Los Angeles illustrator Molly Brandenburg, we’ve compiled 21 other situations that people living with kids will totally understand. If you’ve got kids, I’m sure you’ve got your own stories, and I invite you to share them in the Comments below. If you don’t have kids but know people who do, please buy them a beer or bottle of wine or a babysitter or nanny, or contribute to their kid’s college fund. Above all, if you visit their house, just don’t mind the mess.